


But You're Not Injured

by riot3672



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BAMF Tony Stark, Blood and Injury, Civil War (Marvel), Civil War Fix-It, Conflict, Dark Humor, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, Manipulation, Mind Control, Minor Injuries, Minor Pietro Maximoff/Wanda Maximoff, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Pietro Maximoff Lives, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-26 03:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6222043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riot3672/pseuds/riot3672
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the (corrected) alternate universe where Pietro lived, Team Tony is strategizing how to best take out their competition. The answer comes down to playing with the stubborn bond between two enhanced twins. Crack ensues.</p><p>(script format)</p>
            </blockquote>





	But You're Not Injured

**Author's Note:**

> Lol I swear I'm neutral.

FADE IN:

INT. TONY’S MEETING ROOM - DAY

The conference table is filled with the faces of Team Tony, including the tired bodies of NATASHA, VISION, T’CHALLA, RHODEY, and PETER. Only TONY seems even the slightest bit awake.

TONY

Alright guys, we gotta go about this strategically.

NATASHA

Why? We already have the superior soldiers and Vision.

TONY

I’m not taking any chances. Now, if we were to go for a knee stab on Cap’s team, who do we take out?

NATASHA

How many shots do we get?

TONY

Let’s assume one.

PETER

Well, you have a super soldier, a super assassin, a guy with arrows --

NATASHA

(interrupting)

A S.H.I.E.L.D.-trained spy.

PETER

\-- Guy with arrows, a guy who can shrink, a guy who can fly, and the twins.

RHODEY

I feel like if you took out Cap or the Winter Soldier that’d work.

TONY

But that’s what they would expect us to do.

Natasha sits up and snaps, all sarcasm.

NATASHA

Here’s an idea! Let’s take out one of the enhanced ones. You know, the ones who could take us all out in five seconds if they wanted to?

TONY

But which one?

CUT TO:

EXT. EMPTY PARKING LOT - DAY

Team Cap and Team Tony charge at each other.

Natasha pulls out her gun and follows the blur of PIETRO.

NATASHA

Just like those stupid light games at the arcade.

Natasha shoots, and Pietro is suddenly on the ground, clutching his leg.

Wanda drops her attack on Vision and runs to Pietro.

WANDA

Are you okay?

PIETRO

Could be worse.

Wanda grabs Pietro by under his arms and starts dragging him away.

CUT TO:

EXT. EMPTY PARKING LOT - LATER

Steve looks around at the chaos of the fight. Something’s missing.

STEVE

Where did the twins go?

INT. CAP’S HEADQUARTERS - LIVING ROOM - DAY

Pietro sits on the couch, a gaming controller in his hands, a blanket draped over him, his leg propped up. Wanda sits down next to him, a bowl of chips in her lap. Wanda leans into Pietro as he takes a handful of chips.

Clint bursts into the room.

CLINT

Wanda, what’re you doing? The fight is still going, and Stark’s killing us!

WANDA

I have to stay here with Pietro. He needs me.

CLINT

Look kid, I know Sokovia was traumatic but your brother got shot in the leg. He’s fine.

WANDA

I’m not leaving.

CLINT

You’re an Avenger now and you have responsibilities to - Come on, you could end this in ten seconds. And you’re not even injured.

WANDA

Oh. Right.

Wanda gets to her feet and disappears into the kitchen. Returns with a meat tenderizer.

She sits back down next to Pietro and hexes him. Pietro’s eyes flash red and he turns to his sister. Wanda places the meat tenderizer in his hand.

CLINT

What are you doing?

Wanda sets her hand down on the coffee table.

CLINT (CONT’D)

Wanda, stop.

Pietro lifts the meat tenderizer.

CLINT (CONT’D)

Okay! You can stay here!

WANDA

Goo --

Pietro slams the meat tenderizer down on Wanda’s hand.

Wanda screams.

CUT TO:

INT. TONY’S MEETING ROOM - NIGHT

Everyone is more propped up. Natasha sets her phone down.

NATASHA

Clint said Wanda broke her hand.

Tony leans back, impressed.

TONY

That...could not have gone better.

Tony sits back up. Game time.

TONY (CONT’D)

Alright, so Sabrina and Sonic are down. Let’s go.

FADE OUT.


End file.
